Sunday, September 26, 2010

You Can Feel Bad If It Will Make You Feel Better

A Bird Told Me So

There's something about country western lyrics that make you smile.  The lyrics are usually simple and speak to the heart.  We all can relate to something that tears us apart.  Most country tunes dwell on the so familiar.  

This morning I heard Patty Loveless sing "You can feel bad, if it will make you feel better."  I thought about the words for a while:  the irony of feeling bad to feel better like the proverbial good cry.  Why is it so difficult to understand that when we lose something or someone, it's ok to grieve;  that what we need is to truly feel bad and angry so that we can feel better.  

Somewhere along the line, we were taught to condition ourselves not to feel.  We told ourselves that it was ok and that we should just suck it up.  I think those people are wrong.  I think we need to allow ourselves to feel so that we can learn from the adversity.  

Let me share my secret, I've had my cry, my feeling bad period.  Now, I am angry enough to start all over again, without a company.  I am ready to venture on my own.  It's always been on my shoulders any way.  I don't need someone to monitor my phone calls and my emails and to tell me what time it is.  Quite frankly I sure as hell know what I am worth and it's a helluva lot more than most are willing to pay.

If you are one of my CMC friends and read this you know this to be true.   How do I put in a resume that I worked in an international marketing capacity pioneering and developing new customers, consulted the company on financial and banking matters, and also acted as a corporate photographer but was only compensated for one job?  Regardless someone thought they would save money by getting rid of me and other seasoned veterans.   I challenge them to find one person with as much talent and experience as me and who will work as cheaply and for as many years as I did.

Pain teaches us to avoid the behavior that hurts us.  I can learn from it by not making the same mistakes.  Think about it.  A relationship sours and you learn not to choose the same type of person again.  A job ends and you decide that you don't want to feel this way again.  You make a fundamental change in your life to avoid future pain.  You adapt and you cope.  You change your behavior and modify your choices.  It won't happen to you the same way again.

Yes, I can see the merit of the tune...I think I will play it some more.  "You can feel bad if it will make you feel better."  I am already feeling better....thanks for letting me vent.  It feels so good.  The lyrics are catchy.  I think I will tackle Gloria Gaynor next.  "Oh no, not I...I will survive....I've got all my life to live."


  1. Feeling is the easy part. It's becoming aware and understanding what you feel and why that is the true challenge. Sometimes, sadly, the lesson is that there is no lesson. We just have to go on.

    My approach to anything that causes great emotional pain is to embrace it and hold it tightly. To tap into the why, because for some reason, in a world where explanations seem far and few, I really do want to know why. Even if it doesn't change the outcome, I want to know why.

  2. The answer to why is down the road. Between now and why is a lot of time. Time we shouldn't waste. It is all we have.

    Learning to welcome change is difficult. At the same time it affords us the stimulus necessary to make life interesting.


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