Fallen Leaves on Park Bench Norfolk, CT The Mass of Men Lead Lives of Quiet Desperation ...Henry David Thoreau |
I have always wanted someone to like me and that someone is me. For years, I've tried to please him by offering sacrifices to the corporate gods. Regardless of what I do nothing seems to appease him. He nags me constantly and never seems to be satisfied with what I've accomplished.
You would think that someone who has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps would feel more accomplished. That furthering his education, raising three fantastic children (now young adults), scoring large business transactions, receiving ample bonuses, and having numerous friends would all put these doubts to rest.
That nagging pushing critical parent simply does not let me be. The parent sits on my shoulder looking to find fault, never satisfied, always pushing. For this reason, I have trouble accepting not only who I am but what I've achieved.
You might wonder why I would even bother to disclose this to you. My motive is pure and simple: some of you might think that you are alone in your feelings. You are not alone and I am breaking the silence for both of us. We have to talk to each other. We simply are not alone.
The nag while real is simply not true. It dwells on microcosms of reality and does not ever see the total picture nor puts it in context. Measuring our value by expectations that can't be met does not prove our self worth. There's something truly wonderful about you and me, if we learn to lead a life where you will be missed of making a difference. Shift your definition of your success.
That's it...lead a life where you make a difference. Make it full of meaning for you and those around you. Touch someone's heart with your compassion, kindness, and love. Be a true friend, to your family and those around you. You've always been worthy of at least your own love. Take that step forward.
In an age of iPhones, iPads, internet, call waiting, and call forwarding there's no need to feel the "quiet desperation" referred to by Thoreau.
So wonderfully presented here Al. I do understand and share bits and pieces of this myself. I've been through so much in my life and feel pretty good about who I am and what I've managed to accomplish through it all. I take input from one shoulder or the other or someone else or I will dismiss them entirely and go on instinct.
ReplyDeleteTo me the best way to make a difference is to be the example. Not just talk it, but do it. Donate blood, help feed the homeless, volunteer, give where and when you can because there may be one day where you need that helping hand.
Pay it forward I guess. Whether it's your career, your family, your friends, your love or even yourself, give first and do so unconditionally. If we're lucky, when the day is done, we have a credit balance and no one owes us a thing.
You absolutely got the spirit of what I wrote!!! When we are true to ourselves it becomes easier to experience living. We have to be consistent with our thoughts and ethics. Acting upon them is the best exercise.
ReplyDelete