Monday, July 16, 2012

A Year Later

How I Remember Mom
Died: July 15, 2012
"The woods are lovely, dark and deep, 
But I have promises to keep, 
And miles to go before I sleep, 
And miles to go before I sleep."
Robert Frost (1874-1963) 

There's been a very annoying lingering shroud over me these past few weeks. It's been difficult to find much joy inside of me even though I've tried. Although I know we all have mother's and eventually they die, I have always felt that mine was different. This lady and I were very close.

She in ways unfathomable to me kept going, kept the family going and on track, and to some extent kept me on my way and journey. I feel somewhat lost without her and at times with an overwhelming desire to pick up the phone and to talk to her. It seems like I've tried everything to bring her back by constantly and at time annoyingly reaching out to my sisters, my father, and you my friends. My confession is simply this I miss her and its just not her delicious recipes.

As I transition post Mom and rudder, I need to find my own way simply to honor her and to please myself. She would not like it if she knew that I allowed myself to wallow in self-pity. The best thing for me to do is to move on, accept her life and thereby honor her memory long after her death.

Mom was a beautiful lady with an outrageous sense of humor, tremendous faith, and a burning desire to make a difference in this world. She believed in helping the down trodden and forgotten: the elderly, the sick, and children of all ages. She certainly left us lasting memories and a remarkable legacy. After all these years, I still would hate to disappoint her.

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