Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Whatcha Afraid Of?

Hanshan Temple

I'm sitting here chilling in my media room sipping some red wine and listening to Michael Jackson's "This Is It".  I'm feeling both nostalgic and melancholic, but it's all good.  There's a thought racing through my mind and it has hit me several times this evening.  Look, I've not held back these past few months.  I've not withheld from you.  Here's my dark secret:  I've been more concerned about dyeing than I have concerned myself about living.

That's pretty odd.  It has taken me half a century to realize what so many have tried to teach me.  The events of this year have totally forced me to change how I think and to discard what I use to believe and practice.  My corporate religion changed this year.  I've been excommunicated from the corporate ranks and by my choice have joined the ranks of those that choose their own destiny.  I've allowed myself to feel again and I've chosen to shuck my fears so that I can live.

Two Thousand Years
Hanshan, Suzhou
If someone would have told me that I would journey to China this year, I would have thought they were crazy.  Not only did I go to China but I am ready (after some rest to go back and explore more).  I'm not afraid of living.  All of this is beginning to work out.  The adventure, my business, and my life.  There's  comfort now in ambiguity.  It provides the certainty that I've wanted.  Understanding and coming to grips with it is all part of my journey.

There are so many seconds to capture yet.  My journey is far from over.  There are many stories remaining for me to tell and share.  I've not given up and although my spirit has been trampled, I stand strong and defiant.  My will and my spirit are not broken.  I draw on the strength of my upbringing, my friends and my classmates that I left behind so many years ago.  This is for all of you.

Please don't give up.  Times are tough but we grew up in a tougher time, it was far from easy for us.  I'm a fighter, I simply had forgotten.

It's funny my fingers are flying over the keyboard....as I listen to the MJ tunes....can't help myself, but I'm energized once more.  Don't give up!!!!  I haven't and God knows there have been many times, I wanted to quit and stop chasing my dreams.  This has become very personal.  Nothing and no one will ever put me down again.  I choose to win, fight, and overcome my adversities.  Wherever this takes me, it will be fine.  I've got to let go of the string and let the kite fly.

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