Saturday, August 1, 2015

Midlife Crisis or Self Discovery

Photographer at Work
Zabriskie Point
Death Valley, CA

"I celebrate myself, and sing myself, 
And what I assume you shall assume, 
For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you."
--Walt Whitman

It's been a while since I started my journey in earnest. The catalyst was a combination of job loss and midlife crisis seasoned by financial and human loss. The crisis in time became a realization of self-discovery, a long journey. Its now that I can look back and say that it lead to an incredible metamorphosis. Irony for someone who abhorred change.

My bitterness and pain was assuaged by my priceless experiences and by the people I met; sojourners, slobs on the bus, traveling through life just like me.

There's so much more wisdom now to share with you. Things ultimately do get better. After the excruciating pain of birth there's is a complete life to enjoy. Suffering is not needless but an avenue paved by the realization of good times and the uncomplicated. Life and the breaths you have are worth celebrating.

Today, again, I renew my vows with myself and to the life I have, not to the one I dream of. I celebrate myself with all my foibles and what goodness might be within me. I am grateful to be alive and even more grateful to have you as my audience. Learn from my hardship and celebrate with me my metamorphosis.

Thursday, July 16, 2015

Desert Epiphany

Peson de Pima
Pima Canyon
Tucson, AZ

My best creative work came to me whilst in the midst of a very dark period of personal turmoil. A few of you know about my personal job travails and self doubt. I very much felt lost and rudderless. The isolation of the desert and my seclusion from friends and family forced me to open my eyes. I witnessed my own my own metamorphosis and in that space the barren took on its own meaning.

My discovery was simply this that I was surrounded by life and meaning and that to enjoy it all I had to do was simply pay the admission of being awake. It was the unforeseen and unanticipated that forced me to enjoy my journey. Yes hardship forced me to have adventure at a time that I thought my life was dead and over. I felt forsaken by the source of my identity: work.

In the absence of verdant vegetation, shapes and solitude, and my imagination created new pixels of images that I otherwise would not have seen or witnessed. No longer did I simply watch a movie, but I became its director, cinematographer, and audience of one. I experienced life. I experienced the euphoria of the mountain top.

Don't let others tell you that its a midlife crisis. Don't listen to that noise. It's not a crisis at all, it's self-discovery.

Thursday, May 7, 2015

A Thought on Global Warming

Summer View
Estes Park, CO

Most folks blue and red alike share a love for clean air and water. At least, I presume so. A friend of mine and I are having a debate over over global warming. He pointed out that an article written in 1922 shared the same concern and that my argument was nothing new. That's ok, but since then the world has become vastly industrialized with China, India, and Brazil emerging onto the scene.
Go to China and stay for a week or Bombay, India and you will understand the severity and enormity of the problem. It's a global issue and taking away the tax incentives for polluters to transfer jobs and pollute elsewhere is a great beginning towards remedying the situation. It's not sufficient to say that a few hydrocarbons won't hurt anyone. We felt that way towards lead based paint, asbestos, and thalidomide. In time all were deemed harmful to our well being. There is a balance to be found and we must either find it or evolve further and wean ourselves from both clean air and water.
I love my grandkids and my children. I wish them healthy lives.

Monday, March 9, 2015

A Little Bird

Kestrel on Sign
San Rafael Valley
Patagonia, AZ

There wasn't much according to my mother that she didn't know she claimed. You see she had a very wise bird an omniscient omnipresent bird who told her everything. For years as a child I dared not take my chances against such a formidable foe. Why challenge him? In fact I had no intention of taking such risks.

As time passed I got more gutsy and ultimately through down my gauntlet. My mother had predicted that my first born would be a son. The early morning birth came shortly after midnight. The doctor announced that my "son" was a girl and I responded in disbelief. "Are you sure?" My mother's bird had never been wrong according to my stats.

Apparently the doctor must have had a similar mother and encouraged me to look for myself and corroborate his fact. From that day forward, my poor mother lost her staunchest believer and from that day forward on most things I became a sceptic.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

You Must Not Quit

San Rafael View
Patagonia, AZ

The most difficult part of post processing in photography is quitting to soon; quitting before the actual reasons or motivations for capturing the image develop before your eyes. If you quit you will never realize the potential. You work the image until each pixel speaks to you, its modern day digital pointillism. Seurat would be quite proud.

Zona Hereford
Patagonia, AZ
Each time that I've ventured out into the San Rafael Valley, I am awakened and my spirit renews. It seems that each time I find something new, another piece of the puzzle. It always a fresh discovery but its not until I spend time with my digital tools that I get to paint with my imagination as I try to recall what I felt and witnessed. It's at that point that creativity and reality fuse.

No you must not quit. Don't stop before the end of the line. If you do you will truly miss out and so will your viewers.

Sunday, February 22, 2015

My Shoes

Rancho De Vacas
San Rafael Valley
Patagonia, AZ

A few years ago my father noticed a pair of Allen Edmond shoes that I was wearing. He went on to not only comment about them and how nice they were but he also guessed spot on how much the pair cost. Knowing well that my father probably had never owned a pair as expensive, I inquired how he knew their value. He looked at me and smiled and said: "I know good shoes."

We take many things for granted not the least each others' experiences. We assume a lot but actually know very little about the shoes others may have walked in. Today I wonder about all the assumptions made and judgements rendered and I wonder how much do I really know and how much perhaps I've missed. Put yourself in my shoes.

Monday, February 16, 2015


Just have been thinking about the many times I've walked this same path; each time finding something different. Usually it's because I open my senses and allow myself to enjoy curious momentos. It may be a new sound I hear perhaps heralding spring or its a greying sky prognosticating the onset of inclement weather or it might be sunbathing turtles or blue herons fishing or a lone middle aged lady sitting on a park bench morning the loss of a pet dog and reminiscing of walks together around a pond or sounds of children laughing and squealing while being swung by young mothers. I choose to experience it all. I'm open to it all regardless of its source: information, comfort, and guidance. I'm awake.